


Haunted by the pains of the past.

by Hannabeth8



Series: Les enfants hippocampes [11]
Category: Les Misérables (2012)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Falling In Love, Gen, Interracial Relationship, Lost Love, M/M, Out of Body Experiences, POV Original Character, Separations, Teen Pregnancy, True Love, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 19:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannabeth8/pseuds/Hannabeth8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucien opens up about his past and tells Éponine, Cosette, and Vivant a story about a love and a child he got separated from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted by the pains of the past.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of the Daniel and Gabriel story arc of "Daughter of the Phoenix." 
> 
> I placed the underage warning since it's mentioned that Daniel was conceived and born when Lucien was around fifteen and sixteen.

It was a rainy and cold September afternoon when Lucien woke up after he slept in and realized what day it was today.  
  
He then laid back down on his bed, looked out the window and was trying to hold back his tears.  
  
Meanwhile Cosette,and Vivant were sitting in the living room in silence.  
  
Cosette then sighed sadly and looked towards the fireplace.  
  
“Can’t believe it was 2 years ago today they left."  
  
“I know, wonder how old he would be now?"

"Probably 2 or 3 years old."  
  
A slight wind and rain fell over the rooftops of Paris. Inside a semi-darkened room, Lucien awoken with a jolt. With a sudden realization, he groaned, and huddled back into the soft blankets. Today was the anniversary of when the two people that meant everything to him left his life.

"It would've been wonderful if they had stayed with us."  


"Yes it would have been wonderful, but now we'll just have to either hope they return or move on; like we always have."

Vivant then got up from the chair.

"I'll go check on Lucien if he's okay."

"Okay."

Vivant then walked up to their room where Lucien was still lying on his bed, and then knocked on the door.

"Lucien, It's me; I just wanted to see if you're alright. I was also wondering if I could come in and talk to you."

"You can come in."

Vivant soon walked in and sat beside Lucien.

"I don't blame you for feeling this way, I couldn't imagine going through something like this; but what else were we suppose to do?"

"I know, but it's still so painful to remember; I sometimes close my eyes and I see myself holding him in my arms again and he's also sitting beside me and the three of us are just enjoying those quiet moments."

"You really loved him, didn't you?"

"Yes, he was everything; there are moments where I just want to give up, but the hope that they would return is what keeps me going."

Meanwhile Éponine walked down to the living room and sat down beside Cosette.

"Is Lucien okay? I keep hearing him crying from my room."

"Not really, he's going through some trouble from long ago."

"What happened?"

"I can't say, we have all sworn that we wouldn't tell a soul or bring it up; without Lucien's permission."

"But why, you can trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you, but that it's too difficult to talk about; and we don't want the wrong people knowing about this."

"Well maybe if I ask, I'll find out what's going on."

Éponine then walked upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me Éponine, I was just wanting to know what's wrong? Because I have no idea what the hell is going on."

"Just a minute."

"Are you sure we should tell her, Vivant ?"

"Well she is part of the family, so it wouldn't be fair to leave her in the dark like this."

"I don't know, she might end up telling the whole town about it."

"Or maybe she won't, what do we have to lose?"

"I guess you're right, fine I'll tell her."

The two then walked outside where Éponine was still standing out in the hallway.

"Okay we'll tell you, but we'll head down to the cellar so no one else can hear us."

"Also you must promise us that you will never bring it up again or tell another soul?"

"I promise."

The four then headed down to the cellar and Vivant then locked the door.

Lucien then grabbed a lantern and placed it in the middle of the room, and then everyone sat down in front of the lantern.

"A couple of years ago when I was fifteen, I was walking through the shipyard; when suddenly some muggers ganged up on me. I tried to fight back at first, but I was quickly losing strength and was almost done for."

"Then what happened?"

"Then this gentleman showed up and knocked them all out, he was around sixteen at the time; and he took me to his apartment. His name was Gabriel Leblanc,he said he was a child prodigy at his university and he was studying to be a poet; it was love at first sight."

Lucien then took a moonstone and onyx locket out of his front pocket.

"He gave me this locket a week after we met, since on that day; we declared our love for each other. Then one night after discussing it for a few days, I took some seahorse blood, and that was the first time I made love with someone and it had meaning."

"I hate to sound intrusive but, what how did it feel?"

"It's honestly hard to describe, it was almost like a out of body experience, it was like I was floating in the darkness and in nothing, and there was this energy going through me. It was like time was completely gone, after I came back to reality; we just embraced each other in silence."

"Did your parents or anyone else know about Gabriel and you?"

"No I actually hid with him for months, mostly because I was scared that my parent would find out and disapprove of me being in a interracial relationship; since he was black and I was white. I didn't want to lose the only relationship where I felt like I was respected, and that the other person thought I mattered; and even though I've had different relationships with different men and women in the past; they just treated me like I was nothing. Is it wrong to ask that the person you loved respects you and actually cares about you?"

Vivant then hugged Lucien.

"No it isn't, my dear brother."

"A few months after that night, I found out that I was pregnant. At first Gabriel was confused, but after I explained the seahorse blood and what it was capable of; we were both overjoyed that we were going to be a family. I was actually eight months pregnant when I finally returned home, at first my parents were relieved that I was okay, furious at first that I was pregnant but then they were supportive of both my relationship and my child. Soon a month later in September, that was when my son was born in one of the spare bedrooms."

Soon tears welled up in Lucien's eyes.

"I still remember holding him for the first time, he looked so much like his father; I also remember Gabriel sitting beside me and looking at our son sleeping peacefully, in my arms. We were even gonna say our vows of eternal love, the month after."

"Then what happened?"

"When Daniel was two weeks old, my parents said that Gabriel and Daniel had to leave for London, and I couldn't see them for a while."

"But why? I thought you said your parents were supportive?"

"They were, but it was for the safety of Gabriel, my son, and I; because the townspeople probably would’ve tried to use my son against me. Also they wanted to give me a normal life since they said sixteen was too young for someone to raise a child. I still remember the moment Gabriel and Daniel left my life, Gabriel told me that when the time is right; he would return and we would be together again."

Soon tears started welling up in everybody else's eyes.

"I spent the next 2 weeks in the room he was born in, in a deep depression. I had trouble sleeping because everytime I closed my eyes, I would see my baby in my arms again. Soon I felt as if everything was falling apart, I would travel to different parts of France, getting drunk in the inns, getting high in opium dens, sleeping with a different person each night. Because I mostly felt empty at that point and I was trying to find a way to fill that empty void in me. But now each moment is filled with regret, because I was unfaithful to the only person who loved me by trying to replace him with a different person."

Soon Éponine hugged Lucien.

"Don't worry Lucien, we all have regrets; those moments you wish didn't happen. I understand."

"But the thing is, the only thing I don't regret is meeting Gabriel. Because when I was with him, I felt as if all of the problems of the world was gone, all of the hatred has disappeared and unlike all of the other relationship before and since then; Gabriel had respected me and actually loved me and cared about me. In fact the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that they would return and we could be a family again."

Soon there wasn't a dry eye in the room, and there was also dead silence; because no one knew what to say.

“So that’s my story, are you satisfied with the answer?”

“I honestly don’t know how to feel, I couldn’t imagine going through that.”

“Now that you’ve heard the story Éponine, do you promise that you will not bring it up and that you won’t tell another soul?”

Éponine then raised her left hand up to show that her fingers weren’t crossed, and extended her right hand towards Lucien.

“Don’t worry, I promise.”

They then shook hands on it, and Lucien then walked to the spare room.

He then lied down on the bed, and then started sobbing again.

Later that night, it had stopped raining; and Lucien is sitting outside looking at the stars.

Valjean then sat beside Lucien.

“I understand if you don’t forgive pama and I for doing what we had to do, just know that it was more difficult for us as well. I had a grandson and a possible son in law leave my life.”

“I understand why you had to do what you did, it was for Daniel’s sake. But I sometimes lie awake and wonder if I’ll ever see them again, papa?”

“Well I don’t know, but I’m sure they’ll return home soon.”

Lucien then looked up at the stars with tears in his eyes.

“Gabriel and I were gonna have the perfect life together, only for it to be taken away from me.”

“Well as pama had said, the stars often guide us in our darkest hour, and maybe the stars will bring them home.”

“Thanks papa.”

Valjean then walked back into the house, and Lucien then dried his eyes and looked at the Ursa Major.

“Ursa Major, please bring Daniel and Gabriel home. I just want to have my baby in my arms again, and to see my love again.”

Lucien then walked back inside and went to sleep in the spare room, dreaming of the hope that his son and his love would soon return home.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, the next fic will show the eventual conclusion of this story.


End file.
